. . . I Am strong. I was born a Jewish girl, full-blooded, with ancestry from Lithuania and Germany. Now, an Ethiopian-born kindergartener, strong and eager to tackle the world full-on, calls me Mother.
. . . I Am content. In knowing that every day I wake up and believe I can do it again, this seeming marathon that poses as 16 hours ahead of me. Breakfast blend brewing in the pot, as waffles toast, eggs boil, and Curious George teaches my daughter the joys of inquisitiveness that leads one to greater knowledge and, of all things, learning is, “Oh boy,” fun, and at times, challenging.
. . . I Am expanding my zone of possibilities, as my mind stretches beyond what it yesterday thought was good enough; there is no good enough when there waiting is greatness.
. . . I Am well, and growing with each dive into this child’s abyss; expanding my tolerance, and, as well, shrinking acceptance of that which does not serve the Highest Good. Feelings are everything in the world of consciousness.
As I study the wisdom of the ages, the sages, the teachers who have come before, I begin to hear the soul’s demand to feel well. Despite outer appearances, clarity has walked into our new home and smiled at me with these words: Act as if because it really is. Soon you will catch up with what is real and leave that which is false behind. With kindness and no regrets.
An August weekend with my daughter, under the guise of celebrating her fifth birthday with a cherished auntie and uncle, showed me what I will never be. Though I do aspire to learn how to parent my daughter in a way that teaches her how to regulate her intense emotions, I came to know in the midst of what felt like judgement, steering, or simple lack of empathy, I no longer strive to be that which I will never be: a Strong Black Woman.
I know now that all I desire to become is that which I already Am. I must cultivate right language, both internal and external. Stop speaking words that are not true, such as: I am sick; I am not capable; I cannot help her.
The truth is quite simple, and ancient, and quoted by many wise, healthy, prosperous spiritual teachers throughout time: With God All Things Are Possible. And as Wayne Dyer likes to add: “And that excludes nothing.”
So though perhaps a few years back I prayed to become a Strong Black Woman, today my thoughts have shifted. Today I no longer pray to change the way things are, but I do affirm that which we all were born to be: I pray to know that I Am.